Thanksgiving is nearly upon us! I am hosting my first ever Friendsgiving this year in my New York City apartment. I’ve been doing a ton of research on how best to host 20 people in a cramped, rather narrow space, and all this Pinterest-searching and internet-scrounging for budget-friendly recipes has, of course, brought me to the darker corners of the web and back, and thus today I bring you some of my more interesting finds. Though I’m still waiting for Cookbook for Cannibals (looking at you, Joe Hill,) these will do nicely in the meantime.
NEW ENGLAND DAMNED CHOWDER
NEW ENGLAND DAMNED CHOWDER
NEW ENGLAND DAMNED CHOWDER
SERVES FIVE, AS EACH OF THE CORNERS OF AN INVERTED PENTAGRAM
WHAT YE MUST OFFER
- 5 center-cut bacon strips, thick cut
- 1 small onion, 2 stalks celery, 2 small cloves garlic, finely chopped
- 4 potatoes, cubed
- 1 cup water, 1 (8-ounce) bottle clam juice, 4 teaspoons chicken bouillon
- 1/2 teaspoon white pepper, 1/2 teaspoon thyme
- 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
- 2 1/2 cups heavy cream, divided equally
- 2 (51-ounce) cans chopped clams
- In a dutch oven or other capacious cooking vessel, cook the swine meat of divine glory over medium heat. One quarter hours should see them crisp, remove then to parchment to drain. Squander not the juices of the meat, for now shalt thou baptise the onion, celery, and garlic, saut´ing one twelfth hour or until tender. As for the fate of the potatoes: add them now, along with the water, clam juice, boullion, pepper, and thyme. Boil it!
- Boil it all! Once at a boil, reduce heat.
- Patience now . . . simmer unveiled for 15 to 20 minutes or until the many cubed are tender.
- In a small skull— or bowl—combine the flour and 1 1/ 2 cups of the heavy cream until smooth. Stir this slowly into the rest. Bring all to a boil; mutter the incantation, as instructed below, and stir until thickened.
- Add slowly the clams as well as the remaining heavy cream, and put it again to the flame until warmed through, yet not boiling. Crumble in the reserved bacon, Prince of Meats, leaving some for a garnish on top.
For further consideration, here are a couple of my favorite horror-related cooking blogs. When work gets tough or I begin thinking about what I’ll tell my family when they ask (again) why I still haven’t brought anyone home to meet them for the holidays, this is what I turn to. Ghoulia Childs in particular has a “Horror Affirmations” feature on Twitter that makes me giggle.
